Yeah...Pretty Much

So Yeah. I pretty much wanna be like Jeb. I dunno why. No one has ever been that inspiring. Like really, conquering fears. Like who does that? Who would want to do that? WHY? But I totally get it. I think I want to.

I was three years old when I drowned. I remember it. Then I was submerged. I could see my dad looking at me. He was in the water. He could see my head bopping above the water and me flailing for help. Then I saw him go under and I saw his feet. Then he grabbed me. That was my first memory of my Hero Daddy.

Hard to believe that I have so many fears. Especially with the way I was bought up. I was pretty much my Father's son. He didn't even take my little brother on his hunting/fishing trips. It was just me. I remember sitting in the sled and then the ski-doo stopping. Then I heard my dad. "Bunny." I got up to look and he was submerged in water. We had fallen thru the ice. Not really but that bottom layer is pretty much gonna give if you don't get off it soon. So I got off and he pulled the skidoo and sled out of the water. Then we just continued on to snare some rabbits at Doctor's Creek. Another memory of my Dad rescuing me.

INSPIRED. That's how I feel. Like really? Someone can just get over their fears? Count me in. It's like I'm actually sick and tired of being afraid. And to some people, I'm the strong one. Even after the sexual assault and suicide attempt, I came back. Stronger than ever. Nothing could stop me. Except the fears that I constantly had with me since I was a kid. Listening to Jeb Corliss, it's like, it all made sense. I was like, "I know, right!!!!"

So I started. And there's other things I gotta do, but at least I started, which is the most important thing. I think that's the first step. The very important step. If you can't take one first step, then what's the fucken point? Like really? Might as well crawl into your shell now.

I know I can do this. Julianna is my motivation. Just like Jeb, she's inspired me. But now she's motivated me. Mostly to kick her ass at exercising. lmfao If that's not motivation, I don't know what is. I can't wait to jump up and down and cheer and say, "YES! I did more push-ups than you!!!!" lmfao I'm so competitive, it's not funny. I anticipate many episodes of Julianna crying. LMFAO

Well anyways, getting it started.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Alone. Again. :(

So I call my sister (The American) over. So she comes over with her Hubby.  Anyways, I give her a birthday card, cause it is her birthday and she's finally 40!  Anyways, supper is cooking.  Then Julianna asks me if she could go sleep over.  I'm like, "What?  I thought you wanted to spend the weekend with me?"  She's like, "Never mind."  So she goes and I'm alone. 
 
But I was productive.  Kinda.  I made appetizers!  Jalepeno Poppers and Bacon Wrapped Potatoes.  Of course, I didn't eat them.  I made the poppers for my friend Terri and my neighbour Morgan, who by the way went to IKEA for me last weekend!  Anyhoo, I decided to make some potatoes for Scott.  But he wasn't at Morgan's so I just gave them to Morgan. 

Jalepeno Poppers and Bacon Wrapped Potatoes with garlic and onion
 
I also did my kettlebell workout and danced for almost an hour.  No worries; I used my Bluetooth headphones.  By the time, I went to bed, I was quite thirsty and ended up drinking three glasses of ice juice.  So I went to bed early and then finally a couple of hours later, I was in dreamland.
 
So it was kinda nice to walk straight to work as opposed to walking to daycare, dropping her off and then walking to work using another street.  I guess I'll be alone again tonight.  I'm thankful I have leftovers so I don't have to cook anything.  Laundry and movie are on the agenda but like as if I ever follow that. 
 
I had a shake for lunch and yogurt and a chocolate milk for my afternoon snack, which, sadly, I'm now paying for.  :(  Why must all the good shit contain lactose?  I cry.  :(
 
Anyhoo, that's it for now.  If I fall off the elliptical again, I'll come back and tell you about it.  :)
 
 
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