Yeah...Pretty Much

So Yeah. I pretty much wanna be like Jeb. I dunno why. No one has ever been that inspiring. Like really, conquering fears. Like who does that? Who would want to do that? WHY? But I totally get it. I think I want to.

I was three years old when I drowned. I remember it. Then I was submerged. I could see my dad looking at me. He was in the water. He could see my head bopping above the water and me flailing for help. Then I saw him go under and I saw his feet. Then he grabbed me. That was my first memory of my Hero Daddy.

Hard to believe that I have so many fears. Especially with the way I was bought up. I was pretty much my Father's son. He didn't even take my little brother on his hunting/fishing trips. It was just me. I remember sitting in the sled and then the ski-doo stopping. Then I heard my dad. "Bunny." I got up to look and he was submerged in water. We had fallen thru the ice. Not really but that bottom layer is pretty much gonna give if you don't get off it soon. So I got off and he pulled the skidoo and sled out of the water. Then we just continued on to snare some rabbits at Doctor's Creek. Another memory of my Dad rescuing me.

INSPIRED. That's how I feel. Like really? Someone can just get over their fears? Count me in. It's like I'm actually sick and tired of being afraid. And to some people, I'm the strong one. Even after the sexual assault and suicide attempt, I came back. Stronger than ever. Nothing could stop me. Except the fears that I constantly had with me since I was a kid. Listening to Jeb Corliss, it's like, it all made sense. I was like, "I know, right!!!!"

So I started. And there's other things I gotta do, but at least I started, which is the most important thing. I think that's the first step. The very important step. If you can't take one first step, then what's the fucken point? Like really? Might as well crawl into your shell now.

I know I can do this. Julianna is my motivation. Just like Jeb, she's inspired me. But now she's motivated me. Mostly to kick her ass at exercising. lmfao If that's not motivation, I don't know what is. I can't wait to jump up and down and cheer and say, "YES! I did more push-ups than you!!!!" lmfao I'm so competitive, it's not funny. I anticipate many episodes of Julianna crying. LMFAO

Well anyways, getting it started.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Passion

I came across this video.  This video portrays everything I felt.  It was like thunder. Why be scared?  What are you afraid of? Why? So now I do shit.  Going to a co-ed kickboxing class is the scariest thing for me ever but I do it.  Why?  Cause I'm no longer scared.  I found my passion.  Have you?
 

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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Knuckle Push-ups

Just a little note...

So now I can do 25 knuckle push-ups.  And the only reason is cause it's hard to do them regular when you're on the mat and your wraps keep slipping.  So I just do knuckles. 

Anyways...

I'm sitting in the car with my brother.  He's in the passenger seat and Julianna is sitting at the back.  We're parked and waiting for our cousins.  So I tell him how many knuckle push-ups I can do now.  Cause I'm always doing them at kickboxing.  lmfao A little voice pipes up from the back seat, "No one cares!!!!!" 

lmfao My daughter is totally jelling that there is something that I can do better than her.  My brother and I just started jarring out.  My kid is so cute.
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Muay Thai

It's official.

I'm a kickboxer.  :P lol

So a few weeks ago, I went to the Total Martial Arts Centre (TMAC).  I signed up for three classes a week, which is like $96/month.  I figure I can use my savings benefit to pay for it. 

Anyways... I go to the lunch classes held on Mondays and Fridays, which is Co-ed.  (Which I'm kinda surprised considering I never try to stay in the same room if men are occupying it.  But I figure if I can get over that fear while doing something else, it's just a bonus.) Anyways, the first couple of classes were awesome.  Everyone was partnered up so I got the green monster (the punching bag).  I LOVE the green monster.  Why?  CAUSE HE DOESN'T HIT BACK!!!  Then I go to class last Friday, and there's three of us females there.  So now I'm part of a group.  And OMG! Did I get hit and kicked!  Like for real.  By the end of the class, I was begging for the green monster.  My back was so sore and my arms and hands shook for the rest of the day because my muscles were so sore from being hit and kicked.  (Okay, we use blockers but still, your body absorbs the impact.) And then what do I do?  I go pow wow dancing for two hours after that.  Apparently, I'm the fucken biggest idiot that ever lived.  By Friday night, I was crying.  Yes.  Crying.  Tears of pain. My body was sooooo sore!  I rubbed A535 all over my body.  I smelled like old person. The next morning, I jumped out of bed.  My body was so stiff. And still sore. 

Anyways, the only downside about it is constantly washing my gear, especially the hand wraps.  I think I might need to buy a couple of more, just so I'm not constantly doing laundry.  And I need more work out clothes. Bleh.  Shopping.  :(

So that's it.  It's been three weeks and I love it. I don't love being the only girl there but whateves.  I didn't sign up to hang out with friends.  I signed up to kick some ass.  Anyways...
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Friday, September 5, 2014

Swimming Lessons

Okay, I'm taking the biggest plunge ever.

Just signed up for swimming lessons.

Still terrified of the water.  I still have anxiety attacks even if I'm close to water.  But enough is enough.  It's all a go. 

I wonder if my body remembers drowning.  I mean...if my mind can, is it possible my body can too? 

I'm looking forward to not being afraid.

:)
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Thursday, August 21, 2014

Kickboxing

Kickboxing is a go.  Signed up.  Scared as shit but meh, whatever. 
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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Bleh

I truly hate my elliptical.  It's trying to kill me.  :(
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Friday, August 8, 2014

Alone. Again. :(

So I call my sister (The American) over. So she comes over with her Hubby.  Anyways, I give her a birthday card, cause it is her birthday and she's finally 40!  Anyways, supper is cooking.  Then Julianna asks me if she could go sleep over.  I'm like, "What?  I thought you wanted to spend the weekend with me?"  She's like, "Never mind."  So she goes and I'm alone. 
 
But I was productive.  Kinda.  I made appetizers!  Jalepeno Poppers and Bacon Wrapped Potatoes.  Of course, I didn't eat them.  I made the poppers for my friend Terri and my neighbour Morgan, who by the way went to IKEA for me last weekend!  Anyhoo, I decided to make some potatoes for Scott.  But he wasn't at Morgan's so I just gave them to Morgan. 

Jalepeno Poppers and Bacon Wrapped Potatoes with garlic and onion
 
I also did my kettlebell workout and danced for almost an hour.  No worries; I used my Bluetooth headphones.  By the time, I went to bed, I was quite thirsty and ended up drinking three glasses of ice juice.  So I went to bed early and then finally a couple of hours later, I was in dreamland.
 
So it was kinda nice to walk straight to work as opposed to walking to daycare, dropping her off and then walking to work using another street.  I guess I'll be alone again tonight.  I'm thankful I have leftovers so I don't have to cook anything.  Laundry and movie are on the agenda but like as if I ever follow that. 
 
I had a shake for lunch and yogurt and a chocolate milk for my afternoon snack, which, sadly, I'm now paying for.  :(  Why must all the good shit contain lactose?  I cry.  :(
 
Anyhoo, that's it for now.  If I fall off the elliptical again, I'll come back and tell you about it.  :)
 
 
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